So maybe I'll always live life like a fucking tilt-a-whirl, thinking, it's a kick, it's a thrill until the goddamn ride turns a little and the world seems cut at a whole different angle. Maybe I'll never know when I'm happy except in retrospect.
Herodotus was an asshole if ever there was one.
It's still fear of loss, is all, fear of loss only, but how do you diminish that? Loss is still fucking terrifying. I'm standing on my own and I'm building my own foundations, but there isn't enough there yet to be solid.
I have good reason to be terrified, is what I'm saying.
End-to-end, a day full of fucking frustrations. I'm not sad and I'm only a little afraid. 90% of this is probably just frustration.
FUTURE SELF, if you wanna pitch in and tell me how the goddamn date goes, THAT WOULD ALSO BE GREAT OF YOU. Just get in a fucking time machine and tell me something works out.
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no subject
Herodotus was an asshole if ever there was one.
It's still fear of loss, is all, fear of loss only, but how do you diminish that? Loss is still fucking terrifying. I'm standing on my own and I'm building my own foundations, but there isn't enough there yet to be solid.
I have good reason to be terrified, is what I'm saying.
Motherfucking day.
no subject
End-to-end, a day full of fucking frustrations. I'm not sad and I'm only a little afraid. 90% of this is probably just frustration.
FUTURE SELF, if you wanna pitch in and tell me how the goddamn date goes, THAT WOULD ALSO BE GREAT OF YOU. Just get in a fucking time machine and tell me something works out.