This is me putting off changing again. Just a little longer, I keep saying. A little and that's the last.
Someday I'm going to look back at these notes and laugh like I always do. Change is a delusion too -- either you cope or you don't.
Mostly, I guess, I'm just scared of not coping. But okay, we're doing with the philosophical bullshit of the morning. I have to cook, take the car back in to get that gasket checked, write my statement, fill out the basic forms, check my letters, reply to those emails, check with Joy (what a name, what a sign), and start the inventory of books-to-take-with-me and things-to-take-with-me-that-aren't-books. I need to get down the agency's number in case I get there and fluster. I need three main luggages: the personal stuff I'll be accessing, and then the two big things. I need to make lists of what I'm taking and get the GPS.
Two months until I can look back on this and say "that wasn't so bad." Fuck you, future self. You've only been through this part. I'm the one actually stuck living it.
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Someday I'm going to look back at these notes and laugh like I always do. Change is a delusion too -- either you cope or you don't.
Mostly, I guess, I'm just scared of not coping. But okay, we're doing with the philosophical bullshit of the morning. I have to cook, take the car back in to get that gasket checked, write my statement, fill out the basic forms, check my letters, reply to those emails, check with Joy (what a name, what a sign), and start the inventory of books-to-take-with-me and things-to-take-with-me-that-aren't-books. I need to get down the agency's number in case I get there and fluster. I need three main luggages: the personal stuff I'll be accessing, and then the two big things. I need to make lists of what I'm taking and get the GPS.
Two months until I can look back on this and say "that wasn't so bad." Fuck you, future self. You've only been through this part. I'm the one actually stuck living it.